Friday, August 13, 2010

growing up

A small little girl walks into a pool of unknown people. Well thats definitely me when I first went into my school of aliens where there were a class of 50 students creating a chaos for no reasons. That was 1995. I changed my place in the mid session and had to get into a school because as a child I could not travel to my previous one and as a Bengali middle class family my parents could not afford to make me lose a year. And I was thrown into a whole world of guys & gals who seemed totally different from my previous set of friends.

And the story started.It was class five.Month of June.Trying to recollect those days today seems so difficult with no reference in hand.In the middle of session it was difficult to make friends but thanks to those few people who made my life easier.I got few good friends who actually seemed to understand me.They did held out their hands with compassion.I was never a good studious fellow who would study bunking her lunch breaks or evening plays but was few of those people who would try to manage everything at the eleventh hour.I enjoyed while I realized I was growing up.Life was suddenly filled with fun & smiles. I was tom boyish,with short hair & loads of energy which is still on even after 15 years.But my eyes seemed to be stuck sometimes on the last row of our class where a silent composed fellow seemed to hide away from many things in the world.I was curious.Very curious but very afraid.Reaching up to that unsaid wall was so very arduous & then breaking that wall was impossible.But still I was curious.As a child I used to think that how can a person be so silent.Patience is the virtue but that was some thing I was lacking.I thought & thought.I grew up thinking.Times changed and our teachers planned to shuffle our class.This whole bag full of curiosity went to a different section & I never got the chance to break through that wall.I grew up, left school & joined a different one.
Thanks to the social networking sites I suddenly came across that same person.I was actually afraid of that guy but when he tried to get in touch with me I was happy.I was happy because of some unknown reason.
We started talking.We talk & talk.We talk of anything that can be under the sun.I got afraid once again.I do not know why we talk.I want to know.But as before I am again afraid to ask.Now is the time that I ask myself whether I should make the move or not because 15 years back I could not gather the courage to do the same so is this the time?
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