home is different from house...i love my home as well as the house in the dingy golis of howrah with innumerable problems all around.the reason is i love the people who lives here,i love everything that is around in here.my room,my bed,my table lamp,my study table,my books,my wardrobe everything is so perfect.even the climber that has grown from a plant to tree with yellow flowers in it in front of my home is so damn perfect!!
i have come back after three months.things dont much change in three months.u dont expect to aswell.but i find this place so unknown today.may be because i loved this place & everything around it through some ones else's eyes.some one made me see those parts of these dingy lanes which were otherwise not visible.my views and the thoughts were driven by someone else to some extent.today when i have come back i am starting to love & see this place with my own eyes & views.yes there are many things that can be loved about in this place.i see them today!!i feel them today.
when i went out in the evening today i saw that side of kolkata which i never saw before.i felt that the warmth of kolkata.in this city u are never alone!!u can never be lonely.the buses,the taxis,the people all are so different.they are busy yet they some times stop by u to ask u how u are?i want to happy to be in kolkata as i have come back to my city after few days but i am not..i know why i am not!!i am just so shocked with the mistakes that i made for days which rolled into years..when i landed today i again got the old smell f this city which you otherwise dont feel if you are here 24x7..i could feel the love emitted out of the busy humid city..i can feel it today when i stand with my arms open in my roof..when i just lie down tired in my bed..or when i just do nothing sitting in front of my desktop..or when i just sit in my window with the lights off..i am falling for this city again..
n i know the reason aswell..this time i am seeing & feeling this city myself..not thru someone else's eyes or heart but through my own..i know how i can do it..i can do it because someone has given me the strength to do the same..someone very unknown has given me the courage to face the world as it comes.he has made my hands so strong that now i can hold myself with those hands..i want to thank him but i m at times out of words..or may be he would not understand me..since i hate to speak my heart out..i always wanted friendship & love to have such power that it can understand the person just by a simple "hello"...but that takes time..that takes days..but one day i believe i will be able to make him understand even without saying that how much i love him..
you get to feel these things only when u find yourself from within you..i can do it best hen i am home...this is the best realization when u com back to the warmth of ma after days!!!!
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