well i till now dont know what to name this post..i believe i will be able to do the same once the flow comes..many of those who reads this blog would feel that i have put forward the frustrations of life(not many will read so no worries..moreover i know this would not be one of those writings which has been appreciated all thru..but i dont write for appreciation but i write as this is the best way how i can bring my feelings out...
human mind as all say is the most complicated thing on earth!!so complicated that at times I feel that human beings are some thing i just dont want to come in touch with..but alas!!how can u expect to live in the planet ruled by Homo Sapiens by barring them!!
the resentment is not with the human being all together since there are few special people in my life who has out proven others like my parents,my friends who has been thru thick n thin...but people who tried to be extra friendly but was just not worth it are those who changed my views..i have had many friends..friends who has been with me for a substantial period of time n then we have parted ways...i dont regret losing them since i have also been unsocial enough to not in get touch with them..i am definitely very moody..so moody that its difficult to cope up with my mood..i dont blame others..this is definitely my fault!!i accept..
but this attitude of mine has all the more been a result of people around me who have been good actors!!well the world is a stage as said by Shakespeare so cant blame them as well..but at times i feel that such a lot of acting is also not necessary as there are people who would love you in any case..you dont need to be extra cheesy about them..i prefer to accept as they are since i do believe that every individual has a defined character of their own and we are not to change them!!
i dont know why i am writing this post!!is it because i am frustrated enough to say something on someone's face as i used to do or am i tired of making people understand what i am or how am i???surely dont know the answer to this but i do know that some thing is itching me bad which is forcing me to vent it out this way??
today i really had a bad fight with someone special but i dont blame it on him!!it is the expectations that make you feel pissed off at times.I wanted o kill this bloody thing called "expectation"...it kill everything but homo sapiens would not be called so if they could kill the same.i am disgusted!!disgusted with the fact that every small step that I take towards a better life is always backed by innumerable bad steps & most importantly those small steps just go away unnoticed..but why..am a little more into the habit of "four years" that i exaggerate on or is it obvious that it had to happen!!am a incapable of letting people understand hat i feel about them?am i more moody than that i need to be??im truly perplexed!!
i want to reach upto the person but i dont know how!!i dont know whether a blog or a mail or a hand written letter or a simple phone call would make him understand what i actually feel about him??i know i had a bad habit of pulling those "four years" into everything that i do but i have come out of it n dont know how do i make him understand that!!!uff im so damn disgusted!!!i hate life!!!
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